Prayer

So like two months ago, one of my eyes started feeling kind of off and I ignored it because, I don't know, I had other cats to whip, but it turns out that I chose poorly because now I have this weird thing going on where it hurts to blink or close my eyes in general (sleep is a struggle) and I went to the doctor and he told me what it is but I don't remember what it's called. And now I can't wear my contacts for a while (Sister Hilaire's glasses are just as big and dark as mine, we look like we're trying to make a matching statement) and I have to use these eye drops four times a day that make my mouth taste bad and before going to bed I put this gel on my eye that doesn't actually help but he said to use it anyway so I do. But he checked my vision and said that unless it gets worse, I'm still okay to drive, and so far it seems to be getting better instead of worse.

And I'm sharing this with you because, the first night that my eye actually hurt it was really bad. Like, really bad. And I had no idea what was wrong, I assumed I just had something in my eye and went to bed figuring it would just work itself out because it was almost 10:30 and I didn't have time to worry about it. But after a while I realized I definitely wouldn't be able to sleep, so I got up and spent like 20 minutes trying to get a nonexistent foreign particle out of my eye and then gave up and went back to bed, and that pattern repeated for about two hours. So around 1, I was back up and had once again been unsuccessful in relieving any amount of pain, if anything it had gotten worse, and I sat on the bathroom floor and cried for a long time. And then I knelt on the bathroom floor and prayed and cried and I was so tired and I think I really thought no one had ever undergone a worse trial. I prayed for the rest of the night. Not because I'm super faithful or anything, but because I figured I couldn't sleep anyway, and it seemed like the most productive thing to do. It's hard to explain, like I've had other trials but obviously my life hasn't been that hard because this was one of the worst nights of my life. Heavenly Father didn't make my eye feel better that night. But He did help me to stop feeling sorry for myself, and to recognize that there were much worse situations I could have been in. He helped me to be grateful that I'm in a place where I could get medical help the next day. He helped me to be grateful for a companion who sleeps heavily enough that I could pray out loud and not wake her up. He helped me to do everything I needed to do the next day, even without having slept. Heavenly Father was good to me, even though the first hour or so of my prayer was just me complaining and asking Him to make my eye stop hurting.

In my experience, He usually doesn't answer prayers in the way we want or when we want. But He doesn't ignore us. I know God is there. I know we are His children, and I know He listens to and cares for us as loved sons and daughters, and He wants to be a bigger part of our lives.

So that's my story for this week. Other things happened too, but I don't have time to write about them. I promise the rest of the week was good! Sometime I'll like tell y'all about people or something, or something about what we actually do with our time.


I love you!
Souvenez-vous qui vous êtes ♥
Sister Lonas